Why be like the other sheep?
It’s not the money that’s important, it’s the lifestyle that money can buy.
This seemed like a fun thing to do, but actually made me realise that what I want in life really isn’t that unattainable. Continue reading “1000 Times Your Salary”
Defining my purpose in life
A couple of weeks ago I determined my unique combination of skills and experiences and came up with 5 bullet points to highlight this combination. I then took it a step further and identified 5 key descriptors which give a very condensed overview of who I am and what I do.
This was taken from one of the exercises in a book I stumbled across in Oxfam and have been finding really useful. The book, ‘Brand You’ by John Purkiss and David Royston-Lee, is a step-by-step guide to determining your own unique skills and experiences and developing these into a coherent and easily identifiable personal brand.
I read through the book pretty quickly, but over the last few weeks I’ve been going back through it more slowly, completing the exercises as I go.
I’ve already identified my talents, values and unique combination and feel like I’m gaining clarity with where I want to go with my blog, website and life as a whole. I already had a pretty good idea about this, but the book is helping me articulate it and give me a clearer focus.
This week I’ve been thinking about my purpose. As the authors say,
‘A sense of purpose helps you focus your efforts, making your life meaningful and enjoyable’.
I can’t argue with that!
If I’m clear on my purpose it will be easier to communicate who I am and what I do to others. If others understand what I’m about right from the beginning, those that don’t like what I do or the way that I do it will weed themselves out, leaving me with the people who will support and encourage me.
The book stresses the importance of differentiating between goals and purpose. Your goals are not your purpose.
Goals are short-term motivators; once they are achieved you need to make new ones. Your purpose, on the other hand, is limitless; it’s the way you want to live your life. Goals are still good, but as a means of working towards your purpose rather than as an end in themselves.
The authors use a diagram of a pyramid to illustrate how your aim, goals, plans and tasks cascade down from your purpose. Always start with the purpose at the top as it’s only once you know this that you can start to identify aims, set goals, make plans and complete tasks. And it’s always in this order.
The example given in the book is of someone whose purpose is to improve people’s health. As a way of working towards this purpose they aim to cure sick people. Ways of doing this include qualifying as a doctor and writing a book; these are the goals. Plans to achieve these goals could be going to medical school and gaining writing experience. Tasks could be passing exams, carrying out research, making notes, washing hands between patients and applying for student loans.
Following this example, I put together my own version of the purpose pyramid.
The wording may need some tweaking, but on the whole I’m quite happy with it. And the path I’m on is becoming a lot clearer.
What’s your purpose in life? Do you think infographics like this are useful?
Trying to get one step closer to living the life I want to lead.
I’ve been reading a few books and blogs recently about self-development. I’ve never really been into the whole self-help genre and I suppose self-development isn’t really all that different, yet I’ve found them useful and I’ve been inspired to do lots of self-evaluation otherwise known as ‘where do I want to go with my life’.
I’ve realised that the two things most important to me are time and independence.
When I think more deeply about this I realise it’s because I want to do so many things – I’m curious, want to explore, travel, read, cook, have varied interests, go places, learn, experience.
To do these things it’s obvious I need to have lots of time. However, doing lots of things costs money (even for a cheapskate like me), and acquiring money usually means giving up time. It can be a vicious circle. When I have time, I haven’t got the money; when I’m earning well, I haven’t got the time. Swings and roundabouts. Or should that be a see-saw, with one side constantly outweighing the other?
Independence is important too, because if I have commitments and other people or things relying on me, then I can’t just take off when I like and do whatever I like. Likewise, if I’m relying on other people then I can only do things when they want to and if they have the time and money to do them to.
I’m fortunate to not have anyone who really depends on me (some people might consider that to be a misfortune, but then I’d say we have different priorities regarding what’s important in life). And after spending years travelling solo and starting a new life in a new country on more than one occasion I’m not lacking in confidence when it comes to doing things on my own and so never feel like I’m dependent on someone else.
The more I think about all of this, the more I realise I don’t like being an employee. Having a regular salary is liberating in some ways – I always know the bills will be paid and when I travel I don’t have to pinch pennies because I know I’m still getting paid – but in other ways it’s the complete opposite. It’s so easy to become reliant on that regular income that the ‘what ifs’ of giving it up become so daunting it actually becomes restricting.
I switched from a regular full-time job with a monthly salary to agency work two years ago.
I haven’t regretted it.
I get as much work as I need and although it’s much lower paid than when I worked in a permanent job I can still pay my bills. This is partly because, knowing I want to be in a position to prioritise time over money, I’ve made sure the overheads for my day-to-day life are as low as possible. I’m working towards making things as maintenance free as possible too, so that I save even more time and money.
I still have that feeling though, that I can’t turn agency work down because what if there isn’t any next week? What about the school holidays when I don’t get paid at all? What if I have a unexpected big expense?
So now as well as ensuring my outgoings are low, I need to look at the other side of the equation and work out ways of ensuring my income is maximised without me having to barter large amounts of my time and independence in exchange for it.
Making my website successful could be one way of doing this. As could publishing the book that’s been sitting on my laptop for the past year. There are also other things I could do like workshops, leading walks, expanding my property empire (does two count as an empire?), freelance writing, tour leading, speaking engagements, buying and selling …
I have so many ideas, but have been really slow about putting any of them into action. Not because I haven’t wanted to, but because I’ve let myself get so bogged down with teaching assignments.
So from September, I’m going back to day-to-day jobs where I can be finished for 3.30pm and don’t have to do any work at the weekends. If I don’t earn so much, it won’t be a problem, because I’ll have other income streams.
At least that’s the plan. And now I’ve said it out loud maybe I’ll actually try to follow it.
Identifying my unique combination and determining 5 key descriptors which would look good on a business card.
I’ve been reading more of ‘Brand You‘ by John Purkiss and David Royston-Lee. In the first part I completed the exercises and identified my ‘talents’ and ‘values’.
If I want to be successful with my blog and have it lead to bigger things, I need a ‘brand’ – this might sound like I’m turning myself into a box of cornflakes or a particular type of phone that may or may not be named after a fruit, but really it just means that there will be certain things people automatically associate with me. I have to ensure that these are the right things as well as making sure the association happens in the first place.
My talents and values alone won’t provide me with a ready-made brand. Lots of people will share particular skills and beliefs with me; what makes me different is the combination of these. It’s very unlikely anyone else will have exactly the same combination making my combination unique.
It’s from this unique combination that I can build my brand.
Each of my areas of skill and experience can be developed in many different ways. The way I develop these and inter-link them is something that should be unique to me.
For example, I listed ‘budgeting’ as one of my talents. My skill with budgets could lead me to careers in accountancy, book-keeping or even debt advice. Instead I use this skill to plan expeditions and adventures in life whether they be a year wandering through Africa or a decade spent renovating an old house.
This use of my skill serves me well when it comes to feeding my wanderlust habit and working towards my desire to live a life less boring.
My unique combination may seem obvious to me and serve me well, but if I want to develop a lifestyle where I can help other people achieve the same, I need to do more than just understand my abilities. I have to clearly understand how I can use them to benefit others.
The exercise relevant to this in the book instructed me to think of 4-6 ways other people might describe me and then to condense these into bullet point soundbites.
Each bullet point needs to be quantifiable, measurable and objective. It’s no good saying I’ve travelled a lot – a lot of travel to some people could be a 2 week package holiday each year, whereas others might not consider anything less than visiting over half the countries in the world and spending a least a month in each to be well-travelled.
Here are the 5 bullet points I came up with:
When I see my life condensed into five bullet points like this, I can immediately see how my skills and experiences can feed into the lifestyle I want to develop for myself in the future. This leads me to my next lesson from the book: My Purpose. But that can be a whole post in itself.
Reflecting on my bullet points, five key descriptors jump to mind and I think they describe me pretty well.
TRAVELLER – WALKER – EDUCATOR – SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGIST – BLOGGER
What descriptors would you use to describe yourself?
My first steps towards developing my personal brand.
During a visit to my local Oxfam recently, one book in particular called me to it. A quick flick through the pages and I knew it was a book I needed to buy.
Brand You by John Purkiss and David Royston-Lee is an easy read interspersed with exercises to get you thinking about how to brand yourself.
Everyone and everything seems to have a brand these days and if I’m planning to be even half serious with my website then I need one too.
The book got me thinking about the nitty-gritty of developing a brand.
A brand has to be authentic – it’ll be hard to pull off and maintain if it’s not. I don’t want to get part way down the line and be revealed as a fraud, so staying true to myself and my beliefs is important.
But how do I really know what is the authentic me?
To start thinking about what is authentic you first have to identify your talents and values. Talents are things you are good at, skills you were born with, the sorts of things others might say ‘you are a natural’ at. Your values are the things you believe in and stand for.
If your brand is authentic it will be easy for people to know what you do and what you stand for. The authors point out that not everyone will like what you do or what you stand for, but others will. If your brand is clearly defined then it will be easy for people to decide if they like you or not. Making it easy means you can quickly forge better relationships with those who are favourable to you and your brand whilst not wasting time with those who don’t like what you do and never will.
Once you have a brand you have to think of it in two dimensions – reputation and reach.
To be successful you need a good reputation. This seems obvious, but won’t do you much good if hardly anyone knows about it. So hand-in-hand with your good reputation you need to be reaching an awful lot of people.
Ultimately your brand should turn you into a commodity so you stand out from the crowd and people want to work with you. They may even pay a premium just because it’s you.
My talents
For the first exercise I had to think about seven high points in my life and identify the talents I was using at these times. I then had to think about which talents I enjoy using the most and in which kinds of situation and with which kinds of people.
When I boiled everything down I came out with a list of talents I employ most frequently, feel successful when I use and gain the most energy from.
The talents I identified are:
I also felt that determination and perseverance have been important factors in my past achievements and high points, but didn’t think these really counted as ‘talents’.
My values
Next I moved on to my values and started by making list of 20 people I admire. The list could include people I know personally as well as people who are well-known. Next to their names I wrote what it was that I admired about them.
By analysing what it is I admire in others I could begin to see what values are most important to me.
I realised that my values can be classed under three key words: caring, achieving and doing.
Caring
I care about others. I’m a socialist and believe deeply in fairness and justice for all. I also care about the world around me; the natural and cultural environments, animals and wildlife. I care about myself too; I aim to live a lifestyle that is healthy for both my mind and body. I care about my beliefs and think it is important to cast aside fears and stand up and speak out for what you believe in. I don’t always live up to own beliefs, but on the whole I think I do pretty well.
Achieving
I constantly set myself goals and targets. These are always for things that are important to me, that interest me and that I want to achieve. I don’t see the point otherwise. Achieving goals, dreams, ambitions or whatever you want to call them, takes passion, confidence, determination, perseverance and self-belief. I’m constantly working towards them, planning, adapting when necessary and never giving up. Aiming to achieve, aiming for the best I can be is important enough to me for me to consider it a key value.
Doing
I hate feeling like I’m stuck in a rut. If I find myself getting bogged down in one, I quickly start going stir-crazy and behaving quite irrationally. I only have one life and it’s far too precious to waste trying to live inside a predetermined box, particularly one someone else has designed the parameters for. I want to live a life full of variety and I want to live it on my own terms. Hence it’s important to me to be constantly learning and experiencing new things, visiting new places, trying new foods, meeting new people. A life of ‘doing’ is a life I’m involved with rather than a life I’m watching pass me by.
So, there it is. My talents and values identified and the first steps taken towards developing my brand.
And I’ve still got a lot more of the book to read.
The first book I’ve read in a while from the BBC Big Read list
By Jacqueline Wilson
I haven’t read any of the books on the BBC Big Read list for rather a long time. I really need to get a move on with it as I’ve still got well over a hundred books to go. (I’m reading the long list of 200 books, rather than the more doable 100 top books – it just wouldn’t be me if I made things easy for myself). I want to read the books on the list, I just keep getting distracted with motivational books and Nordic-Noir. So to get myself back on track I started with something nice and simple and quick to read – a children’s book.
In case you don’t know, Jacqueline Wilson is one of the UK’s most popular writers of children’s books and even spent a couple of years as Children’s Laureate. She can attract controversy because her books tackle real-life issues such as divorce, adoption and bullying.
The Story of Tracy Beaker was the novel that gained Wilson recognition. Set in a children’s home, the story is told from Tracy’s point of view.
Tracy has never known her dad. She does have a mum, but as no-one knows where she is Tracy has convinced herself that she’s a busy film star in Hollywood and will return to collect her once she’s got settled down.
Tracy is very good at convincing herself of things. She constantly gets into trouble, but believes the stories she makes up to explain her actions. She never cries, but does suffer an awful lot from hayfever which explains her watering red eyes.
Although Tracy pretends to be tough, at heart she’s a little girl wanting to be loved. Preferably by her mum, but failing that (or in the meantime) by a lovely couple who would want to foster her and give her the life she wants (i.e. lots of trips to McDonald’s).
Wilson really does have a way with words and manages to portray the characters in such a way that convinces the reader. She doesn’t dress her stories up with fairytale endings or wicked stepmothers; Tracy has never, for example, had to live in a cupboard under the stairs like another famous children’s book character had to do. Instead she keeps it real, which probably explains both why she is so popular and so controversial.
I enjoyed the story and easily read it over a couple of evenings. It made a good first book to get me back to reading from the list. Who knows, maybe I’ll tackle Moby Dick next.
Or maybe not.
Resilience, rather than resistance, to change leads to a happier, healthier and more interesting life.
The school I’m currently working at recently hosted a workshop on ‘Resilience’ as part of a training day. This particular workshop was run by a lady called Pauline from a company called ‘Sticky Change’.
The idea was to get us thinking about change and how we react to it and deal with it.
Are we excited by change or do we feel threatened by it? Or excited and intimidated by it at the same time?
Change is inevitable and of course can be good for us – ever heard the saying ‘a change is as good as a rest’?
Of course change can have a huge impact on our life and wellbeing no matter what type of change it is. What is important though is to realise that the change itself doesn’t affect us nearly so much as the way we react to it and deal with it.
Pauline got us to think about a scenario in which we approach the coffee machine and two colleagues who are standing by it in deep conversation, go quiet as we approach. What is the story we make up in our head to go with this scenario?
Some people suggested it may have been a private conversation about something too personal to share. They would shrug and carry on and think no more about it.
Others thought the two colleagues must be talking about them and out of these some thought they must obviously be discussing something bad and so they would immediately feel uncomfortable, defensive, concerned and upset.
The remaining few assumed they must be planning something nice like a surprise party and so would feel happy and appreciated.
Our reactions to change are the same. Do we find out about a change, say ‘whatever’ and go with the flow? Or do we immediately assume the worst case scenario, fight against it and let it fill us with negative emotions?
Or then again, do we see it as something we can use our advantage? Something that will have a positive impact on our lives?
Obviously having a positive mindset and looking for the pros rather than the cons is the healthy approach. We will feel happier and more in control and thus our our mental health and overall wellbeing will get a boost rather than a kicking.
Thinking this through, I can see that even if you really don’t like the changes that are happening, there can still be a positive side because you might need that kicking to get out of a rut and go find something better whether that be a new job, a whole new career, returning to study, taking a gap year to travel the world or something else entirely.
Some of the best things I’ve done in life have only happened because something else changed in a way I didn’t like.
When we get anxious about something our bodies experience a chemical reaction that gears us up to fight or flight. Successful and calm people are aware of this happening when they first feel that rush of adrenaline and say ‘Stop!’ Ensuring you’re in control of yourself like this puts you in control of the situation.
If you’re going to run away or pretend it isn’t happening (flight) or get all angry and worked up about it (fight), you probably aren’t going to achieve much and will just set yourself off on a downward spiral.
Staying in control means you can think the situation through and identify which is the most advantageous path for you take.
I wasn’t happy with changes that were made to the part-time job I had when I was a student. I worked out my finances and realised that rather than looking for another job, I could afford to give up work and focus more fully on the final half year of my degree.
It also meant I had to time to do a computer course I’d been wanting to do, but couldn’t because I couldn’t afford the time and it clashed with my working hours anyway. That computer course led to a temporary teaching job at the college a few hours a week. I ended up working again, but a lot less hours and for more money, whilst getting a free qualification and some really good teaching experience.
So that change, which had seemed so bad it had me evaluating everything, was actually a really good thing for me. It kicked me off the path of a dead-end job and onto one that was much more beneficial in many ways. I earned more money, had more time to focus on my degree, gained additional qualifications and got relevant work experience.
During the latter part of the workshop, Pauline referred to Stephen Covey’s book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People‘. In his book he talks about how the things we can control sit at the centre of a metaphorical circle. This is our circle of control. A ring around the outside of this central circle is our circle of influence and an outer ring is our circle or concern.
Our circle of control contains all the things within our control – we can make decisions about them and act on them.
Our circle of influence contains things we can’t control, but might be able to influence in some way, e.g. by giving an opinion – by engaging in discussion we might influence the person with the control so much that they change to our way of thinking.
Finally, our circle of concern includes all the things we have no control or influence over whatsoever. Like an apple falling from a tree or the sun shining these are things that are going to happen.
Unfortunately, the circle of concern is often where we spend the most time – worrying about things that we have no control over. Staying here wastes our own time and that of others and never gets us anywhere anyway.
If we jump back to the circles of control and influence we can think of solutions that may make the situation in the circle of concern less important or go some way to resolving it. If it is raining, we can’t stop it, but we can take an umbrella or switch activities around so we don’t have to go out in it.
So, my lessons learned from this workshop are:
A weekend spent developing skills and learning about inspirational women.
I spent this weekend on a Women’s Development course.
I was offered a place on the course by the teaching union of which I am a member. As I’m always up for a bit of self-development I jumped at the opportunity. Of course, the fact that it was a free course and included a stay in a posh hotel had nothing to do with it!
Over the weekend I learnt the stories of many strong and determined women who stood up for themselves and other women and achieved many of the things we take for granted today. Not just the biggies, like getting the vote, that everyone’s already heard of, but things like being able to own your own bank account or get a mortgage without having to defer to your husband and rape in marriage being made illegal. When do you think that law was passed? I was astounded to find out it was only in 1991.
As well gathering inspiration from these women we had a practical session on learning how to chair a meeting and finished with a grand finale where we were given just 15 minutes to write a powerful speech on an issue affecting teaching and then had to stand up in front of everyone and deliver the speech.
I’m used to standing up in front of people and talking, but my audience is usually much younger and less qualified than me. And most of the time they’re not listening anyway. It was a whole different ballgame to have to stand up in front of a cohort of my peers and speak passionately, articulately and knowledgeably on a topic I’d only had 15 minutes to prepare!
As I’d quite like to have a go a public speaking, whether it’s as a motivational speaker or just trying to flog my book (if I ever get round to finishing it), I felt that this was a really worthwhile activity.
But as well as getting to hone some important skills, learning a lot about inspirational women, eating good food and sleeping in a posh bed, I also got to meet some interesting and fun women and now have an email network to keep in touch with.
I’m well and truly developed.
Completing this challenge is going to be a much bigger achievement than I’d expected.
I’m learning so much.
That’s me putting a positive slant on things.
I’ve had two weeks off school for the Easter hols and I’m ready to go back just to have a rest. Or at least a break away from my laptop.
Before we broke up for Easter I began seriously working on setting up a website – one of the challenges from my 60 Things To Do Before I’m 60 list. I read lots of posts on the internet and other people’s blogs on how to do this and it all seemed quite straightforward.
Well, that part was.
I invested in web hosting – I’ve gone with Bluehost – and then installed WordPress.org and imported my blog from WordPress.com. All of this was straightforward and although a few of my posts have missing photos or photos that have lost their alignment, it was mostly fine. Much better than I expected.
Then the fun started.
I tried to change the theme. After trying lots, I eventually ended up with the bog standard one that comes with WordPress because none of the ones I tried would display properly. I’ve read that this can just be because they’re in ‘preview’ and it can be different when you go live, but so far I haven’t been brave enough to risk it.
I don’t mind the theme I’ve got at the moment, but it’s not the slick professional look I really wanted.
Next I signed up with Travel Blog Success. I’ve thought about this for a while and the timing was right. And they were having a sale.
Travel Blog Success comes recommended by a whole plethora of travel bloggers I follow. Most of them are affiliated with the course and earn money off referrals, but even bearing this in mind it seemed like a good thing to be part of. Even if only for the networking opportunities.
I only found a couple of negative reviews and they were by people who admitted they hadn’t joined or taken part and so were giving their opinions based on what they assumed it would be like. I disregarded these.
I’ve signed up for the main course and already I feel like I’ve learnt a lot. Even if most of what I’ve learnt is how much I need to learn.
Although my website should be backed up on the main server of my hosting company, it’s better to have a second personal backup as well. I also need to install extra security and firewalls, set up a password vault, change the admin address to one hackers won’t be able to find, install and set up Akismet to stop spam, get an email address to go with my site … the list goes on.
I’ve been trying to do all of these things and finding myself getting frustrated when things don’t work properly. Some of the programmes I’ve tried to install haven’t downloaded properly or I’ve had messages saying they can’t be opened or file extensions are corrupted, blah, blah, blah.
I’m sure if I was more computer savvy I’d get all of this figured out much more quickly. As it is, I consider myself to know a lot more than the average computer user who just surfs the internet and uses basic Word and email, so I can’t imagine how they would go on trying to do this. I like a challenge though and I’m going to feel much prouder of myself once it’s done than I would if I’d sailed through it.
And I mean what I said above; I’m learning a lot!
As well as setting all this up, I’ve been trying to finish the many, many posts that I have sitting in drafts. I’m enjoying going back to them and reminiscing and I’m enjoying all the writing. It is time consuming though.
I spent the first part of my first week off work working non-stop to try to get as much done as possible. Then over Easter I was at a conference for 5 days. The conference was heavy going; long days and lots of concentration needed. Instead of relaxing once I got back to my hotel room in the evenings however, I was spending several more hours on my laptop working. Now I’m home and working flat-out again.
Even though I’m working so hard on it, I’m really enjoying what I’m doing. So when I say I want to go back to school for a rest, I actually don’t. I’d rather stay at home and do this. If it wasn’t for those pesky bills needing paying I’d quite happily give up the day job.
I was hoping to go live with my website before I went back to school, but now I know it won’t be ready. Not only do I have to finish sorting out the security, but I also need to get my head round Google Analytics. I’ve opened the lesson on this and immediately closed it again. One thing at a time.
I do know I don’t want to go live until it’s set up though, as I want to be able to capture accurate data right from the beginning.
Once it’s done and I go live I’ll feel such a sense of achievement when I tick this challenge of my list.
In the meantime, this is one more post that I’m writing that no-one will actually see for a while.
This is a post I’m writing that no-one’s going to see straight away.
One of the challenges on my list of 60 things to do before I’m 60 is to get my own website. There are a couple of reasons why this is on there. One reason is pleasure and a sense of self-achievement. I enjoy using the internet for all kinds of things and I like to understand the things I’m interested in. By creating my own website I’m developing a better understanding of how things work on the web and this insider knowledge enables me to use the web more effectively.
The second reason is more practical. I want to write, travel and generally spend more of my time doing things that I enjoy. Having my own business (or at least being able to generate some of my own income without having to work for it through regular jobs) is one way of achieving this. And of course, every good business needs a website these days doesn’t it?
A few years ago I attended night-school and spent a couple of terms learning web-design. This was really useful and I learnt a lot, but didn’t actually do anything with it at the time. I’ve now decided the time is right to turn my blog into an actual website.
Setting up the basic site, buying hosting, getting a domain name and so on, was all really easy. I imported WordPress, partly because this is what most websites and blogs seem to use now and also because I already had my blog in WordPress.
So far, so good. All I had left to do was choose a theme. This should have been the easiest bit, but for some reason all the themes I tried wouldn’t display correctly and I was getting some really bizarre looking layouts. I’ve ended up going with the basic WordPress theme for 2016 which I do quite like, though I was hoping for something that looked a bit more ‘websitey’ rather than ‘bloggy’.
I’m now tweaking and checking everything and writing up a few posts offline to make sure all is well. I’ve noticed that some of my photos on previous posts haven’t transferred across in the original layouts, so at some point I’ll have to go back and adjust them. This isn’t my biggest priority at the moment though. I still have lots of unfinished posts sitting in drafts that I really want to get finished and posted.
What will I use my website for other than a glorified blog? I’m still working on that, but I feel good about having a foundation to build on. And it’s one more challenge completed.
